you know, i really do hate uncertainty.
and then you wonder why i’m in my current profession.
sometimes, i wonder too. can we survive on passion? but i really do love the job.
amidst this madness, i will search for the answers. hopefully i’ll find them soon.
i’m unhappy. really really unhappy about some things that are happening in my life. there are too many things i cannot control, and there are too many things that have been happening; probably signs that tell me to stop putting in pointless effort and get out immediately. still, i hung on in there, thinking there could be a miracle. miracles don’t happen by themselves. miracles are made to happen. so i should probably start to create one.
i’m seriously very discouraged. i know there is something i should do, and i’ll do my very best to ensure that i get what i want. if i don’t, then i seriously won’t be able to carry on. it’s just very unfair to all of us.
i guess it really isn’t easy to fulfill a dream.
in about 12 hours time, it’s gonna be christmas! have you bought your christmas gifts? have you made your christmas wishes? have you made that christmas eve special for your special someone? 
i wish all a merry merry christmas; to all my students from NCWO and BSSMB, to all who have taught me valuable lessons in life and in music, to all my friends who have been with me through thick and thin, to my beloved family who despite all the unreasonable times stuck together, to my teachers-in-charge who have been absolutely dedicated to the bands, and most of all, to my lovely sweetie, who has been with me through all my good times and bad times, always staying by my side and encouraging me on with her lovely smile
merry christmas, and a happy new year!
yup, so i broke the news to NCWO.
can’t let the rumours affect me. i still want to become a good band director no matter what others say about me!
christmas is just around the corner, gotta get into the festive mood already!
how to tell NCWO? haha.
nah, they’ll understand 
haha, 2 weddings this month!
yesterday, dear’s brother walked the aisle with his girlfriend of 4 years. so touching! i went to help out with the banquet; turned out that i didn’t do much, was standing around most of the time at the reception. food was great, the wedding was at Dragon Gate Restaurant at Harbourfront (can consider this one next time). my table had only 7 ppl, inclusive of dear, her 2 cousins and her dad’s 3 colleagues. so we had food for 10 and only 7 ppl to finish. haha. you can just imagine how full we were towards the end of the dinner.
bridegroom and bride were both lovely, very good looking and very very happy!
felt a little awkward at the toast; cos there were a few of dear’s relatives who don’t really know who i am, and why am i on stage toasting together with the family! well it’s ok, i mean i probably felt a little out of place because i’m not family yet, but yet i’m quite like family already. dunno whether i’m making any sense? well but dear’s family really tried their best to make me feel comfortable at the banquet! really really touched for that
and looking at the proceedings, i was already thinking of what would my own wedding be like… 
soon, my good friend will be getting married! and i’m invited to be in the band of brothers; such an honour! dunno what it’ll be like, to go negotiate the terms and conditions for opening the door to the bride’s place. haha. i feel happy for this friend! he’s with his gf for quite a while now and personally, i admire this guy for his attitude towards life: down-to-earth, earning every bit of achievement through his own hard work. and i will always remember how he helped me out during the band camp.
i have loads to think about for the coming year… (no, not related to marriage, huili will faint if i say i’ll marry her next year!)
training day camp ended for NCHS, some good training came out of it! darren and yenling should be more confident in conducting by now, and i think they both learnt how to teach more effectively. carie and kelmond did some good work on the drumset; good stuff for the percussion section. overall, the sound of the band improved quite a great deal; now they blend so much better, and the chords from the chorales are sounding great! and i hope everyone enjoyed themselves, putting up all the crazy items in an entertaining evening!
how i wish every practice can be so wonderful!
and it was great to see that the band bonded so much better after this training camp, and that the juniors are now closer to the seniors. and the committee had to sweat it out for the planning and execution of the program; good job! real commendable effort from everybody involved in the training camp! keep up the good work, dear members! i hope that one day you will find the reward that music gives to your soul
simply put, i’m sick of being sick.
i want to get well!!!
i don’t understand why anger is such a terrifying thing. how a person can totally flip the mood when anger sets in. how about the more important feelings?
i don’t wanna talk about it anymore.
the stated objectives of the band camp weren’t exactly fulfilled, but still, it was a good band camp. i wanted to complete the syf choice piece, but in the end it didn’t work out that well; had to spend more time working on fundamentals. i guess for the next 2 months i have to really iron out all the playing fundamentals so that they at least can get a decent sound.
so now they could play the first 20 bars or so quite nicely!
the band members are now pretty bonded to me, they respond to me quite well according to my teacher in charge. i could feel so too, and that didn’t come that easily. well at least my hard work paid off, and i think this will make the next few months very productive for the band! hopefully this working spirit stays on, and hopefully they don’t forget the things i taught them!
in the process, i got ‘damaged’ quite heavily; i’m sick for 4 days in a row now. since 2nd day of band camp, my voice started to turn husky, i started to cough, friday it became flu, yesterday it became a full-blown flu and cough. today isn’t any better. i’ve got to recover; i’ve got philwinds rehearsal later and i already doubt i can be at the sectionals. and i’ve got to teach the whole of next week, and dear’s brother’s wedding is next sunday! i really cannot be sick at this point of time 
dear’s going to OBS tmr must have fun ok?
alright, really gotta get more rest. more productive band practices! i really thank Guangyi for giving me some really valuable advice; it’s something i really need to think about, and haven’t. thank you, my friend! i must make this work!
ah. the wonders of band teaching. but sometimes we just wonder why we teach.
