about friendship
it seems just appropriate that this post begins with the dictionary definition of friends (so English Language major right? now it’s English Language graduate :P):
friend (from dictionary.com)
| 1. | a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. |
| 2. | a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony. |
| 3. | a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe? |
| 4. | a member of the same nation, party, etc. |
| 5. | (initial capital letter ) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker. |
–verb (used with object)
| 6. | Rare. to befriend. |
—Idiom
| 7. | make friends with, to enter into friendly relations with; become a friend to. |
]
friend
n.
- A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
- A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
- A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
- One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
- Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
tr.v.
friend·ed, friend·ing, friends Archaic
To befriend.
the roots of friendship, according to Old English history, began from Love. in the history of the word, a friend is literally a lover. in a way, in modern times, friendship is also about love. given the wide definition of love, i don’t think i need to get another dictionary definition to satisfy my readers. haha. anyway, in a way, you’d have to have some love (in the friendship sense) for the person to be considered a true friend.
why am i talking about this? this is in response to dear’s post on the ‘death of friendship’. also made me reflect a bit about what i thought about friendship.
i remember some time back i told hongliang what i felt about friendship. i felt that the quality of friendship cannot be measured by the number of times you see each other/one another, the number of activities you share, the things you talk to each other about and maybe the number of gatherings you organise. true friends don’t even consider all these important. true friends care for you from the bottom of their heart, without malicious intent and always with true love (in the friendship sense again). true friends tell you when you do things wrong because they truly want you to avoid getting hurt by your own mistakes. true friends will give you honest feedback when you ask for them. true friends will not hurt you when you are down. true friends stay.
when we go on an overseas trip, who are the friends we want to buy presents for? are they the ones currently very close to us? have we thought about the friends who have always cared about us even though they are now inconveniently hidden in other social circles? have we always missed out people we wanted to buy things for, only to realise it on the flight back home? actually, the fact that these people came to our mind signifies that these friends occupy a certain space in our heart. when we remember we forgot them, and when we sincerely feel bad about it, that is when we know we really care about them. one might argue otherwise, but that is my point of view.
friendship is never about the material value of the gifts you give. friendship is never about giving treats on birthdays, buying all sorts of expensive stuff for one another, and then forget about one another when nobody’s birthday is coming up. friendship is not about having chalet gatherings, going out for movies, clubbing together and such. true you can share great activities with your true friends, but the bottomline is that it’s gotta come from the heart.
recently, Elson, my sec school acquaintance and JC classmate, organised a small gathering for the JC class guys. it was hugely successful, and we managed to get half of the class guys to turn up; Elson, Yuqiao and myself. yup, we only have 6 guys in our class. anyway, this gesture truly demonstrated Elson’s sincerity in remembering us, as he still went ahead with the gathering even though only 3 of us met up. we chat a lot, shared a lot about our lives and the changes we’ve been through. you could feel the simple friendship was nothing more than sincerity. this is what friendship should be about!
Weiqiang just organised a get-together with Gerald, Westin and myself. we meet like 3 times a year; but whenever we get to know that someone is in trouble, at least one of us will be there for the troubled one. who cares if we meet up so little? the heart is sincere. that is all that matters!
i really have a whole load of good friends whom i’d love to mention, but i’m avoiding cos it might cause some jealousy and upset if you happen not to be mentioned. haha. they are not every single friend i have in friendster; but they share one common thing: they sincerely care about me. and i have a soft spot for sincerity. in turn, i sincerely care for them too, and i really hope that for all my friends, for all my true friends, all is well with you. i only ask that you lead happy lives. and whoever you may be, i am always here for you, my friends, if you need me.
it’s the heart that counts!
cheers to friendship; and to h*ll with insincerity!
and to all my true friends, from the bottom of my heart,
thank you for being my friends 
