MusICian

today marks a kinda big day in my life. it’s teacher’s day! and for probably the first time in my life, i really really feel like a teacher, and i really really feel happy to be in this job

firstly, happy teacher’s day to all my teachers! teachers from Tanglin Primary School; i still remember miss chan (now mrs heng), miss tee, mdm wong, mr lim, mr sun from my primary school days. i’m sure there are more teachers who taught me but primary school being more than 13 years ago, i don’t really remember! teachers from Gan Eng Seng School; mrs yoganathan, miss lee, mr mui, mr lim bun, mr kwan, mrs radford, mdm sharifah, mrs chan (i hope i got them right!) and many others that i don’t quite remember. i’m sorry for forgetting your names, but your teachings are definitely not forgotten! teachers from JJC; mr ho, and actually i forgot many names! argh. my lecturers from NUS, too many to name.

and of course, my band conductors, who have taught me more things on the instrument and on music than i’ve ever taught to anyone; mr richard png, my first conductor in secondary school (who taught me how to play the clarinet and how to teach band), miss sia and mr ong, mr lim lip hua (JJC), mr derence leng (JJC too, after i left), cpt chua, major philip tng, mr andy sim, mr david wong, dr tony macorome, mr leonard tan (who taught me much about conducting and many other things!), mrs chua/mdm tan soh wah and i hope i haven’t missed out anyone!

before we teach, we are first taught. so today as i recieve a very special card and mug from NCHS sec 3s, i would like to thank all my teachers for being there for me, and i’d like to wish all of you a happy teacher’s day! for without you, i will never be standing on the podium, jumping around like a silly fool, and make many moments of happy music. thank you, my teachers! thank you for playing a part in my life

and thank you, NCWO, for some great music-making together. we’ll do well on sunday! remember that all sound start from silence, and silence begins when sound ends

on another note, sweetie and i had a great movie date and i just like to wish her a very happy 25th unofficial months! i love you dear! thank you for letting me live my passion, and thank you for being my absolute pillar of support

i live a happy life!

so there goes rehearsal number one. generally rather smooth, and i’m glad i planned the rehearsal details. all the post-its on the score kinda worked, even though 90% of the time i wasn’t really looking at them. but i’m glad i did my homework (even though there are still things i need to do) and the rehearsal was at least more efficient. next time round shall zoom into smaller details. for myself, i guess it was fine, but i do feel a sense of distance from the band. many times i found it hard to get them to look up. probably i haven’t gotten enough attention from them; hard to step up into a podium that belongs to Mr Tan!

but i’m glad everything wasn’t too bad. i need to rest better before rehearsals. and i need to really know what exactly i want to say next time. i find myself still lacking in confidence. maybe once i fixed the confidence, the charisma will come! but well, i’m learning a lot, so i’m really glad to have this opportunity. and mingwei is right, i’m learning good stuff from the best person! and i find myself starting to conduct very differently now. i need to work on my confidence!!

plan plan plan! and revise, and read, and work hard, and i need a rest man. to walk further!

here’s to someone i’ve known for quite a while.

through thick and thin, through msn and emails and meet-ups probably once every 2 years, a friend of mine is recently going through a tough and trying time. i know it’s hard, but i also know that you can do it. do grieve, but do pick yourself up too! just wanna tell you that you can call me up if you need to talk to someone, and that i have the simplest wish for you; i wish you can be happy.

smile, my friend! you shall find your true happiness in the future!

the world doesn’t simply stop for me to rest! learning continues at an incredible rate at the band convention and also with my materials and conducting lessons. i’m really happy to be at the convention, seeing other band instructors attend the same sessions, learn the same things, and ideally applying the things we learn into our band programs. at the same time, i’m rather miserably sick, and i know being so busy with learning now isn’t really helping my health much. but i can’t stop now! because i’m at the heart of it all, and the pace just keeps me going.

besides, my passion doesn’t allow me to come to a standstill

well, but there are of course trade-offs. i remember the time when dear was busy and i was rather free; i had to deal with it! now she’s dealing with it and i feel rather bad. but i know i mustn’t lose my grip on learning new stuff about conducting every day, so i really have to compromise a bit. sorry dear! i know it’s tough for you, because i’ve gone through this with you before. but it’ll get better!

but i must say that things are really going on very well; i have Mr Png’s fullest blessings for my success in the scene, many people’s sincere offers to help and also good conducting lessons and very good conducting opportunities. i’m really lucky to have all these now!

and it’s official; i’ve been appointed Assistant Conductor of NUSWS! a huge huge learning platform, and a chance for me to work with a band i have grown to love! i really look forward to working with you guys at NUSWS man. do let me know how i can improve!

you know, frankly, i’m supposed to be very happy. i am. but it’s kinda mixed right now. and i’m really on the verge of breaking down while jumping for joy. this doesn’t make sense to you, i guess, but that’s the best way i can describe how i feel right now. i guess. language is kind of deserting me. i feel on top of the world having all those opportunities; at the same time, i feel like i’m separating the clouds (no lame jokes about cloud please) from the earth like Pan Gu and Atlas? it gets discouraging. even though so many people are encouraging me and cheering me on.

but i have to be strong. and i have to get well. being sick at this point of time is a real torture. how to be ultra positive and be at your best in learning when your health is a piece of mess? i blame myself for not taking good care of my health last week. now my body’s exacting revenge on me. it’s like borrowing in instalments and then having to pay everything back one shot. it ain’t funny man…

i hope i solve my problems soon! and stop wanting to break down.

nah, this post isn’t about me and my dear. this post is about 2 of my close friends who recently got together after some trying moments.

huili and i sincerely wish the both of you everlasting bliss, and we really hope that you will find in each other your true love; may this love never fade and may it last you an entire lifetime!

best wishes to the newly-attached couple!

probably an appropriate topic since the many things that happened today seem to be part of moving on.

today saw the official end of the sec 4s’ reign and the start of a new batch of leaders. however much we hated to say goodbye to you, the time has finally come, and from the bottom of our hearts, we wish you all the best in your future endeavours! do move on and scale greater heights, but also do come back if you can and visit us! NCWO will always be your home

the new reign. whether you were satisfied with your posts or otherwise, life still goes on. what we hope to see is the new leaders cooperating well with one another, and always striving to bring the band to greater heights. whether you’re happy or upset, do move on to the greater goal; to lead the band efficiently and effectively. we of course hope that we have given you ranks and posts you feel worthy of, and we know that in whichever post you are, you will do a great job and that is probably all that matters to us!

today saw the sec 4s performing formally with us one last time as our leaders. 7th Night today was great! mainly because you guys really put in your heart and soul, and i could see very good eye contact between us, so that i can bring out the best in you. today also saw me moving on from conservatively beating the beats to daringly expressing the emotions, almost like baring my soul to you, and imploring you to bare your souls to the audience too. it was wonderful. and i have moved on to a very new way of conducting that i myself need to get used to! and it will keep evolving

thank you for following my nonsense today! and thank you for having faith in such a young and relatively inexperienced conductor

and we have all moved on in all ways than one. well, maybe not really moved on, but at least we’re getting ahead instead of getting by.

and i’m glad i have my dear with me through these happy times of mine. thank you dear for sharing my joy! and thank you so much for being a big part of my joy too. and thank you leonard, for always giving me opportunities to grow as a conductor

are you getting ahead? have you moved on? (random question to random readers)