MusICian

can’t help but feel a sense of uneasiness about what’s going on these days. there are some people that i really want to cheer up but somehow it seems the harder that i try, the more it backfires on me. i don’t really understand and perhaps i should try not to understand. i agree that sometimes, being sober isn’t exactly the best way out. ignorance is bliss. and innocence is a total blessing. the lines get thinner and thinner these days; you really don’t know when you cross them.

am i really a good analyst of details? i really don’t know. at least my EL results don’t reflect that way. perhaps i was meant to learn that much about the situation, or perhaps, it was deliberately revealed that way. i’m not sure. i see a friendship fading, and somehow it feels like i’m pushing the other person away. but no, it has never been my intention, and it has never ever crossed my mind to even do anything to destroy such a friendship! what irony. maybe everything’s fine. maybe i worry too much. whatever the case, it is certainly a cause for my uneasiness.

perhaps things have been going unexpectedly smooth for me. or have they? i remember slogging for this concert. but it isn’t only my effort. most of it is my mentor’s effort. but yet, i seem to get most of the recognition. this isn’t fair; without my mentor, there will be no me. at least not in NCWO anyway. so for the immense support behind the scenes and also in front, i thank Mr Png for being a great teacher to me, educating and teaching me the tools of the trade. and i thank Mr Png for being my friend. let me be yours too, for life!

sorry for being mushy here. and sorry for the uneasiness. i can’t help feeling a strange sense of premonition and anticipation after the conversation today. i sincerely hope nothing’s wrong and nothing will go wrong. but i somehow feel that my hopes are pretty vague. please let me know the truth soon. something’s holding you back?

i will always call you sir, till the day that i die. this is my promise.

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