MusICian

after the concert we must go out one day and have a picnic or something, ok? haha. to reward ourselves after a crazy period of stress, hard work and anxiety. theresa’s idea. haha. leaders go organise! oops, shouldn’t arrow my leaders.

NUSWS next practice is on 27th! so far away. but good lah, let me have some time to rest after such a trying period. time to gain some weight! after so many people complained that i’ve lost weight. i have no idea whether it’s true or not. i don’t trust the weighing scales anymore. anyway, 27th is the band camp, and also the solo competition! i must win this. i want to win this. but please don’t let me win because there aren’t any other contestants!!!

gotta wake up early tmr, and probably thursday too. well, for a good concert! i’ll just put in that extra effort

sigh. it’s not simply about the sweet in his mouth. mr png will not suspend him just because he ate a sweet during practice. and i’m aware he isn’t the only one. anyway, the sweet is really besides the point; he hasn’t been giving the right attitude towards his music and despite asking him so many times to look for me to correct his techniques, he didn’t look for me a single time. not for the right reasons anyway. so, i don’t wish to have anymore discussion on this issue; i will address it on wed’s sectionals. if this incident doesn’t get him to wake up his idea, i don’t know what will. and may this be a warning to others who don’t buck up, because we cannot afford to have a slack attitude towards what we play, especially for SYF.

that aside, last week is quite an eventful week. many things happening, many things to handle, and a christmas concert to end the week with. worked with a really strange conductor who lacked a bit of gentlemanliness and virtue, and some say musicality too. but still the concert turned out well. we had mrs chua to save the day (as usual :D)! but i was thoroughly exhausted after everything; tough week, plus sunday morning jog with sweetie inside NUS, plus a tiresome rehearsal but enjoyable concert, plus a trip down to our favourite city hall places and i finally got my t-shirt! after so much waiting (no sale, no money, no happy), FINALLY. but it’s an expensive t-shirt. please please please don’t spoil it (talking to my mom)!

NUSWS masterclass with Dr John Lynch today. 2 Eb clarinet pieces! argh. that means i’ve gotta lug both instruments down again. fine. i always do that anyway. time to prepare my image for sat’s concert. i’m finally conducting! haha.

i kinda regret reading one of my students’ blogs. curiosity kills the cat. well, i dunno. but i’m finding out much more than i probably should. ok, that will be the first and last time i’ll look at my students’ personal blog. to be fair to everyone. yup? better idea? i don’t wanna become a prof talib (a select few will understand what i mean)!

may we have a good rehearsal on wed

well, i feel, i’m in the middle of nowhere?

i’m glad. because i have friends who stand strong by my side, and that really means a lot to me. i have a sweetie who is always understanding and is always giving me her strongest support, letting me have the courage and energy to face any problem and work things out step by step. i have students who finally understand our intentions, and are appreciative of our efforts in educating this band. i have 2 fine bands with very fine conductors, under whom i enjoy the music-making process. i have a very dedicated mentor who gives me his trust, letting me shine under his guidance and always protecting me from systems and exploitations. i have members who trust my judgement, confiding in me stuff that we know can help improve the band. i have 2 great teachers-in-charge who are excellent counsellors and mentors to the kids, and are excellent in handling problems. i’m glad.

but i’m stressed. because concert is in 7 days! and i must say, this is the first secondary school band i’m so attached to, a band i love, since i stepped out of GESSband. i guess i love this band much more than i loved GESSband! but then again, GESSband taught me a great deal, and i will never forget those days when i was still a hopeful recruit, up till the point i took over as drum major. but a shadow loomed over my sec 4 days; those days were basically nightmares. well, back to topic. concert is in 7 days, most pieces sound very hopeful, and i guess we’ll make a good concert! but i’m still stressed, because some things are still uncertain, and some pieces still require much work. maybe i’m just pushing myself and the band too much. but i want a good concert, and so very much does mr png!

so hence, the mixed feelings.

but generally, i’m happy. other than having to deal with my line being partially cut off; outgoing stuff was impossible. and i felt so paiseh that i had to use my student’s phone to make outgoing messages. fortunately, they connected me back at 1am. a little too late, as i’ve already angered my sweetie. sorry >_<

how i wish that mobile service provider wasn’t so picky about late payments! hound me like what like that…

ok, enough said. today’s rehearsal was a good one. got played a prank by a few people; involving the band store and my librarian. OMG. bu yao hai wo la, you guys can get me into serious trouble. and anyway, don’t make other people paiseh also lah. i still want my job, bu yao xian hai wo! (-_-)!!!

what a week! so many things have happened, so many issues tackled, so many grievances left dangling and so many instructors so stressed up. for a start, exams are officially over (yay) but my stress has perhaps just begun. 9 more days to concert; 2 more informal sectionals, 1 more sectionals, 3 more combined practices, the final rehearsal, and THAT’S IT. it’s the concert already! and OMG. we do not want to disappoint anybody even though the ticket is only $5. so we instructors are stressed to do a good job and deliver a good concert.

got the go ahead to conduct 2 pieces! i want to prove my critics wrong; i’m not just a nobody who can’t do my job. i can, and have proven, do a good job even though i have not much conducting experience. i have the determination and the passion! enough said.

finally settled that unsettling matter and as agreed, i will put the matter behind me and move on. what is said in the room remains inside, and i really don’t wish to deal with anymore troubles of such. it has really been rather taxing emotionally; perhaps i care too much for my members that i’m taking things too personally. but i can’t and won’t deny that i love nan chiau wind orchestra. and i have given it my utmost sincerity and passion in music. maybe i just can’t accept the fact that after all i’ve done, the path is still so difficult to tread. have i trodden on the wrong path?

Con Fuoco - with fire, with spirit. an apt description of NCWO. but right now we’re missing the right spirit. perhaps we will see some kind of a miracle in the next few practices! after all, we promised to rock the hall; we intend to keep that promise.

time for me to move on and spend some time. some quiet time for myself, while i plan what i should do next semester with 3 bands and 3 modules. luckily i still have that passion; i’d never have survived teaching bands without it! thank you sir, for instilling in me that wonderful passion for music. it has never ever left me, and it will forever be part of me; wherever i go, i WILL bring good music with me

please come support NCWO in Con Fuoco!