MusICian

nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. what i’ve always been trying to avoid came to haunt me when i faced it. in the face of adversity, i thought i would survive. but i am wrong. i crumbled. i thought i had the courage to face it, but i thought wrong. day and night i prayed for something good to happen, but i already knew it. my telepathy couldn’t be wrong. because my telepathy was never wrong. and how that ironic chemistry sliced deep into my heart.

so there i was, with nowhere else to go, with only my bicycle and a bottle of margarita. and my dear k750i with all the mp3s. i parked myself on a bench chilling with strange warmth and i drank. there was no one there; i was alone with my bike, my mp3 and my margarita. needless to say, the margarita was the first to go. and next was me. even an idiot knows i cannot hold my liquor for nuts but i didn’t care. in the chilling darkness of the street lamps, i lay, terrified to move, terrified to think. every thought jerked tears from my eyes. every move ached my terribly tired body.

as my heart beat faster and faster, i gradually lost consciousness. there on that cold stone slab i lay my head, there on those cold wooden planks i rested my body. a leg wrapped around my bike and all other belongings hugged tight under my arms, i slept.

what else could i have done? i don’t know, but it might be worse.

my drunken slumber was disturbed by terrifying thoughts and i woke up breathing hard and heart beating fast. i was utterly heartbroken, and nothing could take the pain away. is this love? or what exactly is this? do i feel hatred? i don’t. do i feel pain? i do. i don’t know what this is, but i know that it’s turning my life into a living hell. and i want to be strong and survive it, but somehow all courage left me.

how teasing can love be? how tormenting can love be?

HOW CRUEL CAN ONE’S PAST BE?

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 21st, 2006 at 5:27 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.