MusICian

ok, i finally finished 2/3 of my readings for monday’s paper. after spending a few hours in bras brasah mcdonald’s, i finally finished up most of the readings. a few more chapters left! i’d want to finish them tomorrow. hopefully before i go for tuition. i’d wanna start on thursday’s paper’s readings asap! i haven’t touched any of it the entire semester. sometimes i really wonder what i’m so busy about. so busy that i’ve neglected a large part of my studies. maybe it’s just the FASS culture to leave readings to the last minute. or maybe it’s just me. but i do know that giving tuition is mentally draining, especially because my kid lives quite a distance away from me. what to do? i need the money for survival.

and i still have a long way to go before i finally can play the mozart clarinet concerto’s first movement properly. by properly i mean hitting all notes cleanly and not breaking down. i’m far from even reaching that. and i’ve gotta start lessons with my teacher in december. how am i going to face him, i wonder? i’m determined not to waste my time and my money.

and i really really hate my crooked teeth. makes many things inconvenient. especially playing the clarinet.

i wonder how much i can continue to contribute to the household. earning enough for myself, studying, guiding my brother for his piano exam while trying to cope with my own exams in school, what more can i do for now? nothing. i’m dead beat. and they’re not doing anything for me. not that i should ask for anything in return. i just need enough privacy to study, that’s all. and i don’t really want to have to worry about my brother’s piano exam just because he cannot be bothered to even worry about it. my own responsibilities are enough to kill already. i don’t need more responsibilities.

travelling is killing my brain cells.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 17th, 2005 at 10:13 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.