MusICian

alright, i’m finally getting out of my financial difficulty and i’ll be financially independent soon! 1 tuition kid to bring me about $240 a month, 1 clarinet student about $140 a month and maybe another tuition kid for $240 a month! at least with about $380 a month, i can still survive on my own. but still, i won’t be able to pay my own bills and insurance. not yet anyway. unless i manage to get the 2nd tution kid too; then i’d be able to clear my bills on my own. at least in this way, my mum will have one less expense to worry about.

managed to borrow gerald’s Buffet Vintage clarinet. thanks gerald, and sorry for all the inconvenience that day! the instrument is indeed good. although there’s been problems with intonation, the instrument generally produces a good sound, and sound’s been something i’ve been rather obsessed about these days. well, if i manage to produce a good tone, i’ll be happy and i’ll do everything else right somehow. that’s me lah.

the theatre production for praxis is killing me. i cannot seem to gel in with my fellow members and i felt rather offended when someone mentioned that i was trying to isolate myself. because the theatre studies majors are the ones who aren’t including me in their conversations. and it’s not as if i don’t wanna participate. i prefer to think about things then say them, but usually i don’t get the chance to say anything cos they are talking amongst themselves all the time. and they always get so caught up with their own ideas and thoughts that they don’t really give a damn about my presence. i feel like a misplaced toy.

and there’s the production for the acting module too. i wonder what role i’d get. maybe some perverted psychopath doctor again. and god knows who’ll be my acting partners. no intimate scenes please. i’d object. violently.

i’m appalled by the way my section is organised. up till now, most people are still unsure of what their parts should be, and how the movement in between pieces should be carried out. for goodness sake, concert’s in 2 weeks’ time and still, most players are either still very blur; sight-reading pieces at the last minute, or they just can’t be bothered to find out what parts they are playing. and the worst thing is that they can’t play their parts properly. yes, they turn up for band, but so what? they don’t take down notes on important performance directions and they don’t bother to count properly.

i’m not talking about the veterens. the veterens already know what they’re supposed to do. nevertheless, mistakes are bound to happen, and they seem to happen in loads.

i can’t say i’m an extremely responsible player, but at least i note down the important performance directions and i abide to them whenever i play. although i don’t practise that much, i make it a point to play properly whenever i play. what for waste time at band practices? why must band practices be unproductive? and if you’re not happy with the management, what for stay on? don’t let anything else kill the passion for making good music. please.

that’s it. my old injury is back. my ligament somehow got pulled again. either that or i somehow overstrained it. it’s still rather puzzling how i got my injury in the first place. now it’s back to haunt me. i didn’t have a good time at soccer today because my leg’s been affecting me a little too much. looks like i’ll have to rest for the next few days. the sinseh’s right. this is a permanent injury. and there’s nothing i can do about it. argh.

ok. patience. for now i shall take a nap. have got fieldwork to do later.

why do i feel so stoned? i didn’t wake up THAT early. i didn’t sleep THAT late. something’s not quite right. maybe it’s the way i started my day. with a boring as hell lecture. and of course, no breakfast, as usual. this 1-hour break i’m having seems to be a little over the top. and i thought i had too little time. looks like i finished whatever that needs to be done way sooner than i thought. now i have 15 mins more to the next lesson which is only 5 mins away from this computer lab i’m in. i hope the new acting instructor (nelson chia) would be more interesting. perhaps he’d wake me up from my stoned-ness.

sectionals later. gotta learn to enjoy it. and hope that they don’t waste time again. argh.

alright, time to work hard, ian. you’ve been rested enough and now the busy stretch is approaching, you’ve gotta work real hard. besides, it’s just 1 1/2 weeks of night shift; shouldn’t be that tough. ok, review of schedule…

tmr’s lessons start at 10am, 1 hour break from 12-1pm, then lessons till 6pm. sectionals for clarinets start at about 6:45pm, lasts till 9pm. thursday’s slightly better; project group meeting at 12pm, then i’m excused from the 4-5pm tutorial and i’ve gotta start my job at nokia starlight cinema. from then on, it’s 5-11pm every night, and 5pm-2am on saturdays. this job lasts for 11 days. it shouldn’t be that tough! after all, it’s the holidays next week and i’ve got a great friday ahead too

weekend soccer, hopefully, is still on. let of some steam. two sundays’ mus’art practices will be cruelly cut short cos of work. monday’s field trip might just ‘kill’ me! no choice, i’ve gotta try to enjoy it as much as i can. tuesday’s band practice should be fully made use of, cos it’s the only other practice i’m able to attend! hopefully next week’s schedule isn’t that packed and i can get more practising done.

right, no more time to waste. i’ve gotta get an interview sheet done.

i’ve trodden into very unfamiliar territory. and i’ve been going about it for quite a while. nothing like this ever happened to me and sometimes i feel really alienated. but i can see that all these are for a worthy cause. all these will be worth it. simply because there are some things that can never be found again. they will go all the way together with me, and they are here to stay. all for a reason. for a good reason. no matter what, i shall be patient, and i will always be true to the cause. because i think it’s worth it.

ok, my ‘battle plan’ is very bad. should never have chosen this kinda schedule for myself. sucky sucky timetable! having too many 2-hour breaks is damaging to one’s brain. it causes one to feel extremely lethargic and induces the ‘i refuse to do anything constructive cos there’s too much time to waste’ mood into one’s mind. so here i am, in NUS central library, crapping on my blog with my trusty laptop again.

i have work to assign my group members and i’m not doing anything now. sigh. gotta remember to assign them stuff before the weekend. i dunno how i should rate my presentation. it went well verbally, but i think the content was bad, cos the lecturers had lots to comment.

i hate this mood! the only thing i managed to do successfully was to read my lecture notes from my sociolinguistics module. i tried to do the readings but i fell asleep on them. i tried to do something else but i fell asleep again. argh. i shall go down to the forum now and check out the bazaar before going to the canteen for my favourite cheap prata :S

3 hours for sectionals. came early at 5:20 when i should’ve come at 7pm. sectionals started with only 6 people. i even fixed the bass clarinet. in the end we took 2 hours only and ran through ONE piece. ONE pathetic little piece. somebody please help me.

a few hours of rehearsals, endless lamenting and procrastinating, a few hours of reading my lines. all wasted because the other 2 groups took too long to present their acts. and i didn’t get to play the pervy larry… neither did any of my co-actors get to play their characters, for that matter.

nevermind. i’ll make full use of tomorrow.

it’s 2:40am. in case you’re wondering why i’m still awake, try getting gastric pains when you’re trying to sleep…

a day full of ups and downs. was asleep for most of the morning, only waking up to prepare for my lesson with fiona. supposed to meet jennifer (she’s teaching damien, fiona’s brother, how to play the glockenspiel) and so i tried to call her at 2:50pm. that’s when i realised my hp couldn’t make or recieve calls AND sms! i was in a state of panic (i thought it’s because i haven’t paid the bill) so i rushed to my mum’s shop for help. eventually, all turned out well after i switched off my phone and switched it back on. what a toot i was…

lesson with fiona was more productive than last week. got her to write out 3 different descending scales for homework. i must remember to buy her the theory book from yamaha! she seemed to enjoy herself more today. and at least she kinda liked the duet we were playing from the beginner’s duet book.

had dinner with jennifer at cine. found another nice jap dish! it’s something like a pizza omelette noodle thingy which was delicious. must bring you there sometime!

soccer was a weird mixture of enjoyment and disappointment. there were LOADS of challengers at telok blangah today, and we had to wait forever for our turn. and the worst thing is that they just chuck in their new teams, cutting the ‘queue’ to play. in the end, everyone decided to go elsewhere to play, which was a fantastic idea. we finally ended up at henderson, challenging the people at the futsal court. when it was my team’s turn, i put in my heart and soul into the game, and i even scored the opening goal! was so proud of myself (cos it was a nice one too). throughout the game there, i played well against both the outsiders and our own people. and i really sweat it out.

oh yah, thanks charlie for sending me back man!

ok, gastric pain’s subsided. i’d better go sleep now before it comes back.

i think i know why i’m sick today. dinner and ktv, one after the other, for 2 consecutive nights on saturday and sunday! and sunday’s was extremely bad! i was practically bloated right to the brim; 5 people eating some 10 person’s share! and it wasn’t exactly fantabulous food… had to force spoonfuls of the last few dishes down my system… and the ktv was a real nightmare! ok, let me explain. sunday’s dinner and ktv was the post WMC celebration dinner, hosted by the CC to thank its sponsors and players. not all the tables were full (like my table has 5 people when a table should have 10) and there were loads of food. the first few dishes were quickly devoured by we 5 ’savages’ who were quite hungry; after that the arrival of the remaining dishes were just dreaded! and the worst part was that the ‘uncles and aunties from the previous century’ started their karaoke session in the same hall and sang very off-key oldies!! i had a terrible time trying to survive it, and of course so did everyone else. well, except for the singers themselves who looked like they were having the time of their life.

i need to listen to more songs from this century to ease my musical trauma.