don’t you think acting is a lot tougher than it seems?
don’t you think stanivslavsky’s school of thought is confusing?
don’t you think chekov is a wonderful writer?
don’t you think i’m not suitable to play Larry, a perverted doctor?
don’t you agree that char siew buns make perfect surprises?
i hid behind my music the whole afternoon. then i hid behind my laptop. then i hid in my brother’s room watching him play xbox. now i’m hiding behind my laptop again. what’s my problem? i better be productive tmr and do some real research and real work.
promised to do some readings and practise properly, but i didn’t. i should be more responsible and really get things done. argh.
i’m genuinely appalled by the behavior of a few people. whatever respect i had for them were completely crushed. two of them takes money from the household and both are appallingly irresponsible people. one ’steals’ money meant for other people and one completely pushes away any responsibility of returning a huge sum of money he borrowed. i used to respect them, but now it seems that all of what’s left are also crushed. the other one brings friends back every single day, and his friends stay all the way till night time, not feeling the least sense of shame. and they even dare to ’steal’ dangerous weapons just to play.
this really sucks. i’ve gotta find a way out myself. and i’m sick and tired of seeing them like this. and i know i’m not the only one. shitty household; one which is so hypocritical. can’t they be more sensible and more responsible? my god, they’re old enough! i’ve had enough.
bad dream about us. don’t worry, it’s just a dream. everything will be fine.
great day, great day! hmmm, it’s 2:50am now so i guess the great day was yesterday 
anyhow, today will be great too
took up the first successful step in challenging myself. i approached mr chua and asked to play 1st clarinet in mus’art! which also means i’m going to play 1st clarinet for the coming concert at esplanade in december. it’ll be exciting! but i accidentally ‘relegated’ desmond to 3rd clarinet… oops… shall prove my worth by doing my very best! danse diabolique is nice! and a little tough. needs some practise. my high notes are out of touch! i better train my high notes later when the sun is up. thanks for the encouragement, gigantic sweet! wouldn’t have dared to venture without your enthusiastic support
dinner was great! although the clams in my vogole pasta were of hardly mentionable size and your pasta had a weird spicy taste to it. haha. but it was still great! thanks again for the treat! had quite a lot of fun even though the disc eventually couldn’t work. what a pity! but at least you finally got to listen to it on your laptop. haha!
alright, i better get to sleep. gonna do some readings and practise my mozart clarinet concerto later! life’s great
all thanks to their funny budgeting and bad HR skills, i’m getting $700 less for my teaching stint. that means i’m returning $500 less to my mum. that means extra burdens for her. that means i’m fuming mad and i’d better not see them. because i’d personally rip them apart verbally and then physically abuse them. and because i’m not such a violent person by nature, please ignore the previous statement.
well, too bad for me, right? serves me right for not asking for a contract which states that i’ll be paid $25/hour. otherwise i’d have grounds to sue their asses off. but i shall be nice and accept this cruel fate. and meanwhile look for other sources of income so that i can give the money back to my mum. it ain’t exactly a small sum, so i’d better find a way fast. anyone wants tution? english teacher at a private school? clarinet tutor? band tutor? waiter? coffee boy?
shall cool down and enjoy the upcoming concert at UCC. enjoy my date. leave these silly issues and silly people alone for a while. MORONS…
without moral support, dreams and ambitions are just like one-winged birds; it’s almost impossible to soar, and even if we are able to fly, we will find no glory in the triumph. moral support, simply put, are really the wings beneath our wings. thank you for giving me your support on my dreams, my friends. thank you, huili, for so readily giving me the thumbs up for my bold decision to tread where very few dare to venture. henchforth i shall commence on the journey towards my dreams with full speed, going step by step, note by note, phrase by phrase and piece by piece. i shall grow old, look back and say, "i’m glad to have walked this path", and not regret that i’ve given it up halfway. i don’t know how much potential i have, or how much talent i actually possess, but i do know that i want to achieve a very high standard of playing and i will not give up on this road towards being a musician.
thank you, my dearest friends. thank you, titanic sweet. this sunday i shall take the first step of a thousand miles by requesting to switch to 1st clarinet with desmond and mr chua. wish me luck!
alright. we’re supposed to create the character within ourselves using chain of thought techniques, then select movements, gestures and speech techniques to articulate our character? so the emotions we should display are carefully selected from our own bank of emotions and we internalise characters to act out our parts. hmmm…
today’s acting exercise is an interesting one. at first i was a little lost, but after a while i got engrossed in it. we were supposed to move through our character, how he/she feels and what we would do if we were him/her. we internalised the character, forming memories which never existed within ourselves, thoughts which never occured before and gestures which we normally do not do. quite an overwhelming experience! the play is a little confusing, though, and the lectures are a tad too boring. haha. but acting’s still fun. for now.
it must be one of the rare times i was totally stressed out at soccer. that was bad. because right after i was completely stressed out (after being yelled at one time too many), i totally lost control and i kind of went beserk. the only thing on my mind was to get the ball. and i almost didn’t care how i got it. i just wanted to get the ball. i guess instincts completely took over this time round. but i hate being driven to a corner by all these comments/remarks/reprimanding. they really affect how i play the game. maybe just a little too much. and they seem to like to pick on me too. do not drive a man into a corner! you’ll never know what he’ll do, because he himself wouldn’t know what he’s doing either.
i’m glad we had a good talk. really. it really enabled me to have a good night’s rest. i’m sure tonight i’ll rest very well too. thank you!
have i been acting strangely these days? i really wonder. well, i am feeling kinda strange. i hope i haven’t brought these ‘mood swings’ to my work and my social life. it isn’t easy trying to juggle moods and being impartial when it comes to school, socialising and sorts. but i have to do it. i’ve always managed to do it, so this time it shouldn’t be any exception.
ran through the mozart clarinet concerto last friday. finally i’m getting pieces of the concerto together! even though my thoughts were in turmoil, i’d managed to concentrate and play the piece. music really calms my heart and soul. i wonder what i’ll be like without music! wait, i already know what i’m like without music. oh well. nothing like my clarinet sweet clarinet! and of course my singing too. about time i brought them to newer heights.
this blog post itself looks very much like a mood swing already. OMG.
